What if Ron Paul was Commissioner of Baseball?

A Detroit Free Press editorial today offered a scathing opinion about the state of Major League Baseball following yesterday’s finger-pointing report by George Mitchell:

“Major League Baseball is going to have to put a giant “*” next to an entire record-setting era.” The stars, it seems, were mostly juiced, cheating at the game by enhancing their muscles and skills with chemicals. They deserve a special Hall of Shame wing at Cooperstown.”

Mitchell’s report — and the reactions to it — caused me to wonder how professional baseball might be different if Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul withdrew from the race for the White House and, instead of serving as commander in chief, replaced Bud Selig as commissioner of baseball.

It makes more sense for the 72-year-old physician-turned congressman from Texas’ 14th District to oversee a now-meaningless national pastime than it does for him to become leader of the free world. After all, his record indicates MLB players will like him.

On at least three recent occasions, Ron Paul has questioned the legality of alcohol while other drugs are outlawed (UNLV’s The Rebel Yell, Nov. 29, 2007), criticized the war on drugs (Houston Chronicle, Dec. 14, 2007) and said he wants to end the war on drugs in its entirety, recognizing it is cruel, wicked and illegitimate (Lew Rockwell.com, Dec. 6, 2007). As commissioner, he will be able to turn his beliefs into action and, in at least one small corner of the world (i.e., baseball), end the “War on Drugs.”

Players will love Ron Paul for several reasons:

* They’ll no longer have to put up with the embarrassment of having total strangers observe them as they fill cups with urine specimens;

* They’ll no longer have to slink around in dark alleys and back rooms on a quest to locate “the cream” that will turn them into muscle-bound superheroes; and

* They’ll no longer have to explain to reporters why certain parts of their bodies have grown to be as large as Rhode Island while other parts of their bodies have experienced extreme shrinkage.

So there you have it: "Play ball, Ron Paul!"