Tim Russert: But First...David Axelrod of Team Obama and Geoff Garin of Team Clinton are here to discuss the campaign for Pennsylvania. First question to you Geoff Garin, is there a difference between donating to the Hillary Clinton campaign and say, taking your money and lighting it on fire?

Garin: (staring at lap): I, um, I...its like lemmings...no, no, no it’s like umm she would make the best strongest president...Please don’t hurt me for saying that.

Axelrod: Geoff

Garin: David

Axelrod: Geoff

Garin: Geoff...no wait

Axelrod: Look me in the eyes man. Look over at that large man asking you questions; can you see that look on his face? Do you know why it looks like that? Its because you are the most awkward human being who's ever been on this show since 1947. ... Can I ask you a question? Did you not run negative ads against my moustache last week in Philadelphia?

Garin: No I don’t think so.

Axelrod: Well you did

Garin: Um, um ...I dropped something in my lap. Excuse me

Axelrod: Do you see this moustache? It will jump off my face, register to run for office, campaign against Hillary-- and it would win. It would win damnit.

Garin: Wait what? Who said that?

Axelrod: 55 to 45, but it would win.

Garin: That’s preposterous.

Axelrod: 60 to 40 if it really, really went all out. But 55 to 45 easily...I have that much faith in my moustache.

Garin: Your moustache couldn’t beat Hillary Clinton.

Axelrod: The hell it couldn’t.

Tim Russert: We actually have the aforementioned clip of the attack ad that aired in the Philadelphia media market last week.

Low contrast picture of David Axelrod's face with his hair in the style of the infamous Gary Busey mug shot, while a narrator reads "Are you tired of that oversized, oily teabag David Axelrod wears on his upper lip? Are you having trouble understanding how a very moving speech at The World Beard & Moustache Championships in 2002, translates into experience for the United States' highest position of responsibility? Send this modern day Salvador Dali a message on Tuesday, and vote for Hillary Clinton, who will keep the face fungus to an absolute minimum."

Tim Russert: Geoff Garin, do you think it’s fair to attack the finely trimmed shrub that lives on David Axelrod's visage? Is it the politically expedient thing for the Hillary Clinton campaign to do?

Garin: I want to be totally honest here. I am not her policy advisor.

Axelrod: Well I’m not surprised; this man fuzz of mine is the only talking point his campaign has.

Garin: Yeah whatever David Axelrod, your moustache is a, it’s umm, ahhh, your moustache is just a big pussy who cant close the deal.

Axelrod's moustache jumps off his face and then with its furry hands, it grabs a folding chair and slams it over Garin's head. He falls to the floor, knocked unconscious. Axelrod's moustache then falls back to its ordinary position.

Tim Russert: I can’t believe you just did that Axelrod! You’re like my new hero! Wow, I’m speechless.

Axelrod: Yeah it gets pretty pissed sometimes. No telling what it’ll do when you antagonize it.

Tim Russert (lighting a cigar): You’re a very silly man, David Axelrod....That's all for today. We'll be back next week. If it's Sunday, it's Meet the Press