Bill Press, Impersonating Ed Schultz: Evil GOP Rooting for Sequester and an Economic 'Tailspin'

It’s time for your liberal radio quiz: which of these quotes is wackiest? First, on Friday’s Bill Press radio show, Bill decided to loosen up for the weekend by trying out his Ed Schultz impression. He didn’t try to do the Schultz voice. He just stole the whole “the Republicans like it when the woman gets cancer" routine, and applied it to the scheduled sequestration.

“The reason they’re not going to get anything down is Republicans decided they like the sequester,” said Press. “They want it to happen they want 800,000 employees to lose their jobs at the Pentagon. They want the economy to go into a tailspin.” Oh, the GOP was rooting for disaster, and he wasn’t through:

“They want Head Start and Pell Grants and TSA and air traffic controllers you name it across the board, they want all to be severely cut, Medicare, Social Security, all of it. They want to shut the government down.”

If the Republicans were really anarchist Death Star supervillains, would they settle for this relatively tiny sequester?

Over on Thom Hartmann show on Thursday, “comedian” and TV host John Fugelsang was unfurling his most annoying Jesus-was-a-liberal shtick.

Fugelsang proclaimed, “There's no greater liberal in history or literature than Jesus, so the greatest irony is [that] the only way to be a conservative Christian is to be a raging liberal, which is what Jesus was.... 'conservative Christian' is a complete oxymoron.”

Fugelsang also dismissed the notion of a liberal media: “The media [are] as liberal as the corporations that own it, and what I've learned in my travels through the corporate media as a humble clown working his way through cable news and broadcast and radio is that the media [are] not liberal. The media [are] full of people who are horrified of being called liberal, and this has led to all the false equivalency that frustrates people of sanity and conscience so much.”

For his part, Hartmann is such a socialist that on Wednesday he declared his loathing for Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson suggesting any entitlement reform. To Hartmann, this is sheer crazy-man nonsense from the capitalist pigs.

“The pair introduced a rebooted, or should we say rebaked, version of the original Simpson-Bowles Catfood Commission idiocy. That original plan, you'll remember, was so bad that their own commissioners wouldn't vote for it. Unfortunately, the media's still in love with these irrelevant hustlers and their crazy ideas.

 ....Although the millionaires on TV won't tell you this, the fact is that working-class Americans need to see through all the smoke and mirrors and past the media circus and realize that, much like the birthers and the truthers, the Simpson-Bowlers are completely off their rockers."