NPR Promotes 'Science' of Kiddie Temper Tantrums, Advises Parents to 'Do Nothing'
On Monday's Morning Edition, NPR science reporter Shankar Vedantam (formerly of The Washington Post) indulged the naughtiest little children, the ones that throw screaming, crying tantrums in public places. The story claimed scientists have now apparently proven that parents should just let the little monsters roar until they exhaust themselves. In the early stages of rage, parents should "do nothing. Don't shout, don't hit, don't try to comfort the child." You can thank NPR the next time this experiment unfolds at the mall."
Vedantam's first subject was little Katrina Doudna: "There was nothing wrong with Katrina. Small kids just have tantrums. Some have lots of them. Tantrums may be traumatic for parents, but they're mostly normal behavior. So science hasn't paid much attention to them, until now."
NPR wasn't scientific enough to realize that children of indulgent parents are much more likely to have spoiled children who throw tantrums. Perhaps these NPR experts never had a parent that would send a child to bed without supper at the first tantrum, and the tantrums were never seen again. This is liberal NPR, where parents are told to just wait out the rages, and let your indulgent parenting be witnessed by everyone who comes across you in public:
VEDANTAM: James Green is a psychologist at the University of Connecticut. He and a colleague have developed a new theory of tantrums. Green's going to apply his theory to one of Katrina Doudna's tantrums. He's going to give us a play-by-play analysis.
(SOUNDBITE OF SCREAMING)
VEDANTAM: But first, I want him to tell you how he collected his data.
GREEN: We developed a onesie that toddlers can wear, that has a high-quality, wireless microphone sewn into it. Parents put this onesie on the child, and press a go button on the equipment.
VEDANTAM: And then everyone waits to see if the toddler has a meltdown. Over time, the researchers collected more than 100 screaming, crying and shouting performances. When they analyzed the audio files, the scientists discovered something. Here's Green's colleague, Michael Potegal of the University of Minnesota.
MICHAEL POTEGAL: We have the most quantitative theory of tantrums that has ever been developed in the history of humankind, he said modestly.
VEDANTAM: You heard that right. A scientific theory of tantrums. By breaking down the audio recordings, Potegal and Green found that tantrums follow rules. Screams and yells usually come together. Throwing things, and pulling and pushing, happen together. Crying, whining, and falling down on the floor go together.
POTEGAL: The impression that tantrums have two stages is incorrect. In fact, the anger and the sadness are more or less simultaneous.
VEDANTAM: Green and Potegal found that different tantrum sounds have distinct audio signatures. When you plot the sounds on a graph, you see how different sounds emerge and fade during a tantrum. Sad sounds, like whimpering and crying, occur throughout the tantrum. But superimposed on them, you see sharp peaks - yelling and screaming. That's the anger.
The trick, Potegal says, is to get the child past the peaks of anger. Once you do that, what's left is the sadness, and sad children reach out for comfort. The quickest way past the anger - do nothing. Don't shout, don't hit, don't try to comfort the child.
It apparently takes a scientific genius to realize that when a brat is screaming at the top of the lungs, asking questions pretending the child is calm and rational doesn't work -- and makes the questioner look ridiculous:
VEDANTAM: As a father, Green's fallen into the same trap himself. As a researcher, he knows it's a mistake.
GREEN: When children are at their peak of anger, and they're screaming and they're kicking, probably asking questions might prolong that period of anger.
VEDANTAM: He thinks it's because the child is already overwhelmed.
GREEN: It's difficult for them to process information. And to respond to a question that the parent's asking may be just adding more information into the system than they can really cope with.
VEDANTAM: It's better, Green says, to keep things simple. Issue short commands like, sit down; go to your room. I asked Green how the new theory might predict where Katrina's tantrum would go.
Vedantam ends the story by remarking on how once you take the scientific approach to tantrum, you can observe them like you're in a lab with scientific detachment, and even amusement:
VEDANTAM: But in a paper they published in the journal Emotion, Green and Potegal argue that no matter how long tantrums last or how often they occur, they follow the same pattern. When Potegal now sees a child having a meltdown at a grocery store, he says he watches to see how well the tantrum fits the pattern he's identified.
POTEGAL: When we're walking down the street or see a child having a tantrum, I comment on the child's technique. Mutter to my family, 'good data,' and they all laugh.
VEDANTAM: What this means is that if you start to observe tantrums like scientists do, instead of experiencing them like parents do, they stop being traumatic. They may even become interesting. Shankar Vedantam, NPR News.
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Comments
Hunger is a natural thing, so why eat?
Submitted by pockets64 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 12:44pm.
Just what we need: another rash of "Dr. Spock" spoiled kids with no self control.
⇒ It's only natural if
Submitted by Cool Arrow on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 12:46pm.
Hunger is only natural if you're a Hungerian.
just let the little monsters roar until they exhaust themselves
Submitted by Newsbubba on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 12:49pm.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why some people grow up to be liberals!!!
Wow...
Submitted by WhoIsJohnGalt on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:01pm.
"Throwing things, and pulling and pushing, happen together."
You mean to tell me, that when a child has a physical outburst, it manifests itself...physically? That's amazing. Where would we be without these eggheads to connect the dots for us?
Here's a clue from a lowly parent of several, not a lofty psychologist...when a toddler throws a tantrum, he's testing not only his boundaries, but his ability to influence outcomes with specific actions. So, from experience, I can tell you that if you "discourage" such behavior, you're teaching the child that it's not acceptable behavior, nor does it get you what you want. the result is a better household in which to live, the child learns effective coping skills, and you're less likely to have to bail the brat out of jail when, at 21 and unemployed, unwashed and penniless he decides to "occupy" some city park because of misplaced sense of entitlement.
Excellent!
Submitted by Secret Conservative on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:08pm.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Wow...
Submitted by nanabanana on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:08pm.
A-MEN!!
"Wow" is right
Submitted by Cappmann1962 on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 9:35am.
After monitoring ONE child, this egg-head moron has enough empirical data to produce a "quantitative" theory presented as scientific fact? And I'm willing to bet that this "research" was funded with government grant and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars as well.
Where is the love?
Submitted by Bradford on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:05pm.
Where is the love that these parents need to give their child? Do they really want them to grow up and let their peers deal with them? There will be NO love when that happens. Oh yeah, anit-bully laws should prevent the a**kicking that they are going to receive. All they need are parents that care enough to get their attention (smack on the ass) and TEACH them that it is anti-social behavior and they will be severely punished when they are older. That punishment will not come from people that love and care for them. It will be brutal.
Oh, for heaven's sake...
Submitted by Secret Conservative on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:06pm.
Parents who indulge a child's tantrums raise adults who throw tantrums. Alec Baldwin's parents might be a good example of this. Yes, it is normal for toddlers to throw tantrums. They are little and easily frustrated. It is common for kids to have tantrums when they are tired or hungry. But telling parents not to do ANYTHING is just nuts. Perhaps when the little darling is at home, sending them to their room is a good idea. If you are out in public, remove the child from the situation. At least everyone ELSE won't have to listen to it.
My parents never tolerated tantrums. Even an attempt at a tantrum was a ticket to a spanking when we were toddlers. We learned pretty quickly that tantrums were not acceptable. If we were in a public place and one of us got out of line, Mom or Dad took the miscreant to the car. And believe me, you did NOT want to be taken to the car! Not because we were abused in any way, but because you were subjected to the wrath of Mom or Dad. It was especially bad if only one parent was present. Then EVERYONE had to go to the car. And listen to the lecture. There was a lot of peer pressure to behave.
As an adult I saw my sibs raise their children in different ways. Those who indulged the kids and allowed the tantrums raised adults who cannot deal with frustration, require instant gratification of every whim and are basically not functioning well as adults. Those who followed Mom & Dad's example have happy successful adult children.
And, by the way, I am one of 10 kids. My mother has often said that if she had indulged tantrums there would have been chaos in our home. As we got older, and complained about "fairness," my Dad would say, "I am not running a democracy here. This is a benevolent dictatorship, and I am the dictator. Keep this up and I will cease to be benevolent."
Oh, for heaven's sake.....
Submitted by nanabanana on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:11pm.
And another A-MEN! Thank God for wise parents with common sense. Sheesh.
One of Seven here.
Submitted by SimJim on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 6:23pm.
I'm a middle child to boot. My mom tells of the time I threw one of my frequent tantrums with my grandmother in attendance. My grandmother grabbed me, undressed me, and threw me into a cold shower. When my tantrum ended she took me out of the shower and tenderly dried me off and warmed me up. I never threw another tantrum.
My son is 21. One cold shower put an end to his tantrums. My 11 year old daughter required two cold showers (followed by the warming up process). She hasn't thrown another one since. Liberals are morons, and quite often lousy parents. Maybe the two go together?
An attempt to justify OWS
Submitted by LAM SON 719 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:18pm.
An attempt to justify OWS behavior.
Tantrum control is like gun control
Submitted by cocodrie on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:21pm.
Tantrum control is like gun control. Gun control requires two hands, one to hold the gun securely the other to shoot. Tantrum control requires two hands, one to hold the tantrumee securely the other to spank.
Jesus Loves You so much He died for you
cocodrie
Submitted by Radical1979 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 3:45pm.
Like!
As If It's Needed
Submitted by sergeant stogie on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:25pm.
More absolute proof that moonbat progressive parenting ruins kids, and eventually, society.
i know a young woman
Submitted by misterbee241 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:37pm.
who is now 30 who grew up like this. Her mother died when she was 4 and her grandparents raised her. Granddad tries to exercise some discipline, but when he did Nanny stepped in and overruled him. Hence the child found out that she could get what she wanted by throwing a fit. It worked every time for her. She also learned to use the "poor me" look and tears. As i said, she is now 30 and raising two children by herself. She wanted a baby but didnt want no man around (he words). Her first child was born when the girl was 16. Anyway, as she got older, her tantrums evolved into good sound cussings. I've been on the receiving end of these tirades, once when her little girl was listening. She could make a Marine DI blush. I figure one day she's going to run into the wrong one. And she's going to get what she should have gotten when she was a kid.
There's a difference ....
Submitted by MissMinPhx on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 1:56pm.
there's a huge difference between allowing a child to throw their tantrum and giving in to the demands of a tantrum.
As a parent (as well as an aunt and frequent babysitter) I too fall in line with the "let the child speak" philosophy. Young children do not have the developed verbal skills or the emotional maturity to understand their feelings. Allowing them to scream it out and kick on the the floor (safely, of course) gives them the chance to work through their feelings and lets them know that the parent is listening - teaching them that their feelings are important and are being heard by their parent is crucial to raising kids into teens who later feel comfortable coming to their parents with any issue they might face. Stopping the tantrum simply sends the message that the child's feelings aren't important.
The danger comes from giving in to a demand just to stop a tantrum - which too many parents do. I learned early on as a parent to avoid - when ever possible - taking my tired toddlers to the store (a big tantrum trigger spot). Most tantrums in our house centered on things like an extra cookie or not wanting to go to bed. The message we send: your feelings are important and you are welcome to voice them, but I am the parent and what I say goes. My kids did not grow into kids who feel entitled - they grew into caring adults who respect others and know how to listen.
That's been my approach, too.
Submitted by GW on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 3:00pm.
I let them scream it out and then I don't at all give in to the demands. I'm hoping that they learn that tantrums aren't going to give them what they want.
But I only have 3 yo and a 6 month-old, so I don't know how the story ends.
I am interested in how to actively discourage it. Am I supposed to spank the kids right then and there or take them away and then spank or what?
GW
Submitted by Radical1979 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 3:51pm.
My son's behavior was very difficult as a toddler. My advice, for what it's worth, is as follows. If your child tantrums in a public place that he likes, warn him that if his behavior doesn't change, he'll be going home. Then follow through. Never give a warning without following through! It's not easy or convenient, but after a few times, the child gets the message. At home I used to tell my children they cry, sulk, etc in their rooms out of my sight. When my son started breaking things I took EVERYTHING out of his room. with good behavior he earned it back.
Two things are important, don't show them you're angry, and FOLLOW THROUGH. Parenting is hard, and it's messy. But son is 21 and a good young man. He knows his bounderies.
Thanks for the advice, Rad
Submitted by GW on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 4:16pm.
and thanks to everyone else who offered their opinions. The comments I get from other parents is that my oldest (a boy) is a great kid, but I'm always seeing areas for improvement. Now is the time to tweak things before things get out of hand.
Thanks again!
And there you have it...
Submitted by WhoIsJohnGalt on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 3:54pm.
"Feelings are important".
So is decorum and appropriate responses to situations. Teaching a child through acquiescence that he/she can express their feelings to the high heavens to the exclusion of all other concerns and individuals within earshot allows them to feel that there is nothing more important than what they are feeling at the moment.
They don't need the developed verbal skills or the emotional maturity to be taught that hollering, crying, stomping is an inappropriate response. If they needed the emotional maturity or the verbal skills to learn something...well, then they'd never learn emotional maturity or verbal skills, now would they?
At the risk of capitalizing on current events, I cite Alec Baldwin as exhibit A.
theories are great and
Submitted by Agnostic on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 5:01pm.
and my opinion is probably as useless as most others - so here is my two cents
While I agree, my problem has always been that when I am out in public and see a child throwing a tantrum almost every time it is something the parent has done that prompted the tantrum. Children need discipline but the automatic responses I see so often are inconsistent, not in proportion and they especially don't recognize root causes.
Do you punish a child because they are tired when it is the parents responsibility to establish a routine? Do you punish a child for expecting attention when they are thrust in unfamiliar situations and they are being ignored?
There is definitely a difference between throwing a tantrum because a child is trying to put their wants above everyone else in the family and throwing a tantrum as a form of communicating when the child feels they don't have any other means at their disposal.
Every parent must do what they think is right and may suffer the consequences but I wish some of those I see would take a minute to figure out what they may have done wrong to precipitate the inappropriate response.
You know how my parents
Submitted by LinTaylor on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 2:33pm.
You know how my parents handled tantrums? The first time my brother or I pitched a fit in the grocery store, they told us "If you don't stop, we're putting everything up and going right home." We kept it up, so they kept their word, just leaving the basket and going back home.
They only ever needed to do it once.
Same here, Lin.
Submitted by UpNorth on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 4:48pm.
And woe be on me the one time I did anything in a restaurant. My dad called the waiter over, had him take my dishes, with the food away, and my drink, and left me with a glass of water for dinner. I only acted other than nice one time. I had learned my lesson. Of course, my mom and dad were my mom and dad, not my "friends". There were expectations of how I was supposed to behave, and I lived up to them. So did my kids, when I became a parent.
Spare the rod, and spoil the child!
Submitted by NJRightWinger12 on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 2:38pm.
Charles Dickens is spinning in his grave-thats what half his movies were about, child beating! Ah, the good ol days of Merry ol England. Anyways, this is how libs are born, and raised! Wish Stanley smacked around her wise-assed Barry once in a while-maybe he'd appreciate the country around him!
Stanley "took off" soon after
Submitted by jkwtrading on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 5:38pm.
Stanley "took off" soon after the obamanation was born.. He knew he created a democrat so he left. lol
LOL-actually, Stanley was his MOMS name!
Submitted by NJRightWinger12 on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 3:46am.
I know what youre thinking-that lady is a MAN, man! But she was a carefree Commie, living the life as a vagabond young red follower of the late 50's-early 60's, so it was cool, ya dig?
I'm so sick and tired of
Submitted by Rusty Shackleford on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 4:43pm.
I'm so sick and tired of being out in public with bratty kids yelling and screaming while their parents act totally oblivious. SHUT UP YOUR KID. The purpose of being a parent is to prepare these kids for life by teaching them what is and what is not acceptable behavior. I can accept that some parents are against a smack on the butt in these situations, but that does not mean you do absolutely nothing. Parents want to take the lazy way out and ignore the problem and then send them to schools where they pander to the kids' self-esteem. Is it any wonder that brand new adults that grew up without being raised are the ones dominating these OWS protests? No wonder NPR advocates this because they need to create the next generation of worthless liberals. Why are my tax dollars going to fund that outfit again?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris Matthews: The Joy Behar of MSNBC.
Bill Maher: The Joy Behar of HBO.
Paul Krugman: The Joy Behar of The New York Times.
Another situation that needs
Submitted by Rusty Shackleford on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 4:47pm.
Another situation that needs to end is this:
Child A is playing with a toy. Child B sees it and starts screaming. Adult enters and tells Child A to share.
Congratulations. You have rewarded greed, jealousy, and envy. You have just taught Child B to be a democrat. You should have told the kid to find another toy to play with.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris Matthews: The Joy Behar of MSNBC.
Bill Maher: The Joy Behar of HBO.
Paul Krugman: The Joy Behar of The New York Times.
wellll, we could always beat
Submitted by jkwtrading on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 5:35pm.
wellll, we could always beat the hell out of the parents, at least the kid would have "something" to cry about.
Just more of the lefts
Submitted by amyshulk on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 2:09am.
Just more of the lefts attempt to remove critical thinking. Don't bother to notice your kid throwing tantrums is in direct relation to you *allowing* the tantrums.
My son threw ONE tantrum at the store when he was about 4. I told him upfront he would not get the candy/toy he wanted, and that he didn't embarrass me, so go ahead and wail. He tried one more scream, saw I wasn't paying him any mind, and he cut it out.
He NEVER did it again.
Small children do not have the reasoning skills or the experience to figure out WHY, but they sure do understand when it doesn't get the desired result!!!
Ronald Reagan
As a kid
Submitted by gfrrman on Thu, 12/08/2011 - 2:38am.
and youngest of three boys, trouble(not tantrums) lurked at every corner just by being the youngest and getting the blame for all things. Not a tantrum, but the scenario that I oh so remember.......
A trip from Montgomery to my birthplace(Mobile, Ala) and cutting up in the back seat(I was about 5yrs old) with my two older bros(7yrs and 9). Dad says, "keep it up and you'll be walking". Ha-ha, hardy ha-ha that would never happen.
Oh yeah? We did keep it up and approaching a long up-hill grade my dad stopped the car and told us to get out and start walking. WTH???? He made us get out(with approval of mom) and start walking. Well, the car went over the hill and disappeared!! All three of us kids were running(balling, crying) as fast as possible up that hill wondering wth???? We had no clue!! Got over the hill and just down from there was the car. We ran like the wind, got in the car and that was the end of that. Consequences for behavior.
As "one bullit Barney Fife" used to say....
"Nip it, just nip it in the bud"!
So true
g