In the run-up to the Inauguration, Newsweek held a competition (apparently canceled) to dress mean, robotic-looking paper dolls of Bush and Cheney and declare what they would do after high office in "Give These Men a Job." Now, its corporate cousin The Washington Post is declaring on Friday a new contest urging readers to imagine the first paragraph of Dick Cheney’s memoirs, as he’s just been signed by Mary Matalin’s Threshold brand at Simon & Schuster. The headline announcing the contest on the back page of the Style section was "It Was a Dark and Stormy Eight Years." The Post’s sample first paragraph is jokey, but really cheesy:
"Undisclosed Location, Inauguration Day, Jan. 20, 2009: Well, the baton is passed. Our work is finally done. Eight years, one devastating terrorist attack, two wars and one recession later, it's finally time to relax. It's been an amazing ride. George and I can certainly say, 'We did it our way!' Or really, if you want to get technical about it, my way. Well, best of luck to this new crew. They're going to need all the help they can get. Or as I was saying to Lynne the other night, it's going to take an 'extraordinary rendition' to get us out of this mess. And with this bunch coming into office, you can bet it's going to be torture. Ha-ha!"
I would imagine the first paragraph will either begin in Cheney’s youth, or perhaps at a juncture of history like 9/11. It certainly will not be jokey – like, for example: "I had my grandkids place the flaming bag of manure on Chris Matthews’ doorstep and ring the doorbell..." Or: "Which genius decided Richard Dreyfuss should play me in the movies?"
—Tim Graham is Director of Media Analysis at the Media Research Center.




















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It was a dark and stormy night...
June 26, 2009 - 14:05 ET by slickwillie2001More interesting to ponder what the Bamster will be doing in 2013. I say community organizer, since that was his Peter Principle level of competence.
Perhaps something along the
June 26, 2009 - 14:12 ET by krendlerPerhaps something along the lines of "A chill wind bloweth through the land, dear friends...", or whatever melodramatic gobbleygook that was uttered a while back by the pious Tim Robbins.
I'm ready Tim
June 27, 2009 - 08:04 ET by Cool ArrowI can't write for Cheney but I'm ready to speculate what Joe Biden would write:
We will Barry you! - Russian Prophecy