Actual Huffington Post Headline: '5 Reasons It's Better To Be A Single Parent'

Psychologists, sociologists, and educators blame many of the problems in our society today on the explosion in single parent households.

Not Emmy Award-winning TV producer and single mom advisor Kerri Zane who published a piece at the Huffington Post Thursday with the astonishing title "5 Reasons It's Better To Be A Single Parent":

Although the gold standard in child rearing has traditionally been a dual family unit, being a single parent has a myriad of benefits. Rather than navigating the treacherous territory of constant parental compromise, you can independently make choices for your children that you feel is best. Eleven years ago, when my former husband and I split, I saw my divorce as a glorious opportunity to parent solo. No more discussing the finer points of gymnastics vs. volleyball. I didn't have to debate dessert after dinner vs. never ever letting sugar touch lips. And there was no longer a lengthy discussion over the reason my daughters needed braces.

Sounds great, doesn't it?

Zane then listed her five reasons:

1. No Negotiations Necessary: While your married counterparts continue to disagree on the state of their children's welfare, you get to make unilateral choices, which in the long run is better for your offspring's well-being. [...]

2. Stellar Independent Role Model: One of the best gifts I was able to give my two daughters was the knowledge that they can make it on their own...When your child sees you as a completely whole and independent adult, they will learn to emulate your healthy behaviors.

3. Relationship Options May Vary: Our society is shifting away from the bonds of matrimony...Children will be enlightened and possibly relieved that they are no longer tied to that traditional lifestyle. Marriage is optional and sometimes not applicable. Long-term relationships without wedding bands can be stronger. [...]

Isn't that special?

But the best was yet to come as reasons four and five were completely selfish with benefits only to the mother:

4. Bed Sharing Not Required: Married couples may have more sex, but it isn't nearly as much fun. While they constantly have to "spice it up" in the bedroom, the nature of being single and switching partners does all the cooking for us. We tease, experiment and explore the bawdy awareness of every new lover.  men and women, make the sex hotter during the first two years of a relationship. 

Yes, Mom's sex life is VERY important to children!

5. Building a Better Body: Marriages are like your freshman year in college. You have the tendency to pack on the pounds. One study found that women could gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of their wedded bliss and a whopping 54 pounds by the ten-year mark, while their single counterparts stay slim. Most of us have an overriding desire to want to be attractive to prospective mates of the opposite sex. The result of a divorce? A slimmer, trimmer you -- aka the Divorce Diet.

Yes, Zane not only put on paper that it's better to be a single mother for your sex life and your figure, she also actually published it for all to see.

But here's what Zane didn't tell her unfortunate readers (via SingleParentSuccess.org):

• In 1995, nearly six of 10 children living with mothers only were near the poverty line. About 45 percent of children raised by divorced mothers and 69 percent by never-married mothers lived in or near poverty, which was $13,003 for a family of three in 1998.
• 75% of children/adolescents in chemical dependency hospitals are from single-parent families.
• More than one half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts lived in one-parent families when they were children.
• 63% of suicides are individuals from single parent families.
• 75% of teenage pregnancies are adolescents from single parent homes.

So go get divorced, moms.

Even if your kids will suffer, your sex lives and your waistlines will thank you.