Here's an announcement that will please atheists and climate alarmists alike: Christmas lights are bad for the planet because they cause global warming.
So says the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation, Australia's national science agency.
Bah humbug, I kid you not.
As reported by the Courier and Mail this Christmas Eve:
SCIENTISTS have warned that Christmas lights are bad for the planet due to huge electricity waste and urged people to get energy efficient festive bulbs.
CSIRO researchers said householders should know that each bulb turned on in the name of Christmas will increase emissions of greenhouse gases.
Dr Glenn Platt, who leads research on energy demand, said Australia got 80 per cent of its electricity by burning coal which pumps harmful emissions into the atmosphere. [...]
Dr Platt added: "For a zero-emission Christmas light show, you may consider using solar powered lights or sourcing your electricity from verified green power suppliers."
As it's too late for most readers to comply with CSIRO's wishes this holiday season, maybe you should return all of the gifts you've purchased for your loved ones and buy carbon credits to offset what's indirectly emanating from your Christmas lights.
Think of it this way: you wouldn't just be saving the planet; you'd be giving Nobel Laureate Al Gore the best possible present for he's taken quite a beating on his green investments this year.