Hillary's Manifesto

January 29th, 2008 9:35 PM

Covering Hillary's tricked-up "victory" event for a Dem Florida primary that was not supposed to be contested, even MSNBC co-anchor Keith Olbermann eventually got bored and pulled away.

But before he did, the junior senator from New York began to lay out her plans for America. Though sheer ennui eventually drove MSNBC off, the network hung in for enough of Clinton's "victory" speech to give us a taste for what might rightly be called "Hillary's Manifesto."

Warning: remove small children and sensitive pets from room before viewing video here.

HILLARY'S MANIFESTO:

"Here's what I believe":

  • Living wage.
  • Legal right to health care.
  • Universal pre-K
  • Don't worry too much about tests, just make sure kids can learn.
  • Tax the rich.
  • Bring troops home.

Hillary was still going strong, but at that point MSNBC cut away, tragically depriving us of learning the additional ways in which Hillary would improve Americans' live through more government. Moving on, even [Obama fan?] Olbermann noted Clinton's disregard for the rules and mocked the significance of the event.

KEITH OLBERMANN: She is insistent that Florida delegates will be seated. She referred to what happened tonight, even though this was not supposed to count according to the rules established by the Democratic National Committee, she referred to this as a "resounding vote" and an "intense election." Um, that, uh, was not the original idea. This was supposed to be as spring training-ish as the baseball games that will be played there in that state a month from now.