If the liberal media's penchant for finding new, creative ways to bluster about runaway climate change is driving you to drink, might I suggest a shot of Patron for this one.
After all, global warming is "murdering your tequila," the Daily Beast's Asawin Suebsaeng insisted in her National Tequila Day (July 24) article, which rehashed an alarmist NPR report which you and I subsidized with our tax money:
Here’s an excerpt from NPR’s “Tequila Nation” report from earlier this summer, in which a tequila distiller based in the traditional Mexican growing region discusses the problem:
"The summer gets hotter and hotter every year. Traditionally, for the blue agave, it took 8 to 10 years to grow and mature. And now we are looking at the agaves maturing 5, 6, 7-years-old. Less sugar content because the plant is forced to grow and mature faster. And everybody’s talking about it: Calentamiento global, global warming."
“It may seem like more hot weather would be a good thing for a plant that thrives in drought conditions and can be killed by too much rain or too much cold,” Willy Blackmore at Participant Media’s TakePart explained. “But ecologies are delicate things, especially when you’re trying to achieve a predictable, high-quality product.”
And to make your margarita potentially even worse, this year also saw The Great Lime Shortage, brought on by disease, storms, and drug cartels.
There you have it: Global warming is trying to kill your tequila buzz. Climate change leads to global bacon shortages. Oh, and fracking chemicals can easily leak into major water supplies and ruin your beer.
Everything is terrible. Happy National Tequila Day.
