Crass WashPost Humorist: Protest the Supreme Court by Defecating in Front of Cops

April 30th, 2012 3:58 PM

Left-wing Washington Post humorist Gene Weingarten is no stranger to NewsBusters criticism. From calling the Tea Party "A posse of ignoramuses" to fantasizing about bludgeoning Ron Paul-supporting folk singer Arlo Guthrie, we've called Weingarten out on his unfunny forays into slamming conservatives and libertarians who don't share his liberal politics.

Well, this weekend Weingarten topped himself by suggesting that a suitable protest of the conservative-leaning U.S. Supreme Court would be to defecate in front of police officers. Weingarten was venting his frustration at a Supreme Court ruling penned by Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy which held that it's not an unreasonable search for jails to strip-search arrestees, even those charged with minor infractions:


[T]his same Supreme Court has now ruled that you can be compelled to get naked after any arrest that will put you into a detention facility with other prisoners. This law supposedly protects the prison population and guards from persons who might be trying to smuggle in drugs, weapons or other contraband.

This gives me an idea, a way to fight back. “Bare” with me here.

In a typical strip-search, the arrested person is ordered to remove his or her clothes — which are then searched — and then is ordered to squat naked and cough. This is on the theory that contraband might be expelled from that special contraband-containment place we all have. If you ask me, a good way to protest this policy would be follow directions precisely, doing exactly as commanded, doing your very best to comply, using all available resources.

Officer: Drop trou, squat and cough, maggot.

Me: Yes, sir!

Officer: Ew.

Me: Oops. Sorry, officer. Feel free to inspect it for contraband!

Officer: No, that’s okay. You can put on your. . . .

Me: No, wait, lemme try again. . . .

I am thinking this strategy will work for a time, until the Supreme Court outlaws pooping in prison, on a 5-4 vote.

Perhaps Weingarten has a bit of a scatalogical fascination, seeing as a pile of poo is his Twitter avatar.