Cable's out. No internet. 

It's either mow the lawn, take the dog for a walk or wash the cars.

And where the heck is that damned dog anyway? 

Al Gore mows the lawn of his "House on Albert Hill," which has been flooded by an intricate series of moats and locks in order to further the myth of man-made global warming.

Crap, this wouldn't be so bad if I weren't all out of beer and toilet paper!

What the American people are looking for is somebody who can solve their problems. - Barack Obama, April 27, 2008

You missed a spot.

Dear Jonathan Cooper:

During this drought season, brought on by global warming, city ordinances require that residents water their lawns only once a week.  Our evidence indicates you watered your lawn as recently as three days ago.  As such, a fine of $729.75 has been assessed against you.

Cordially,

Grafton City Management 

Well, I guess I know now what the 24/7 setting means on the automatic sprinkler control box.

What the American people are looking for is somebody who can solve their problems. - Barack Obama, April 27, 2008

I knew I should've fixed that sprinkler system last weekend!

or

"Curb appeal" my A$$; this isn't going to help us sell this house!

RD.... GMTA!!! LOL

OK, I 'll just stick with my second choice!

Having won a majority of votes in this newly-created island, the Hillary Clinton campaign announced its intentions to have additional delegates seated at the Democratic National Convention.    

Proving a man's home is his castle, Leitner hoped his new moat would provide a symbolic giant middle finger to his obnoxious neighbors.

Oh, no. Kenny meets his Waterloo.

 Six months in a leaky boat............

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious. "

                   - Ben Kenobi on  Liberals, and the MSM.

                               " The Cake is a lie."   

The greenskeeper at TPC Sawgrass practices for preparing the 17th green for next weeks Players Championship.

Sean Penn should be rowing in any minute now to save the day.

Recently Reduced!  Lovely 4-B/R with panoramic view of Sh*t Creek.  Paddle included.

Jer

A local resident deals with the aftermath following Rosie O'Donnel's trip to the bathroom.

I am a conservative who is willing to think for himself.

but I hope we don't have fish again tonight!

There is no sense in being stupid, if you can't prove it! - my dad V

 An ode to the river rats who won't live any where else that was sung by the Man in Black.

Five feet high and rising                                                      Johnny Cash

How high’s the water, mama?
Two feet high and risin’
How high’s the water, papa?
Two feet high and risin’

We can make it to the road in a homemade boat
That’s the only thing we got left that’ll float
It’s already over all the wheat and the oats,
Two feet high and risin’

How high’s the water, mama?
Three feet high and risin’
How high’s the water, papa?
Three feet high and risin’

Well, the hives are gone,
I’ve lost my bees
The chickens are sleepin’
In the willow trees
Cow’s in water up past her knees,
Three feet high and risin’

How high’s the water, mama?
Four feet high and risin’
How high’s the water, papa?
Four feet high and risin’

Hey, come look through the window pane,
The bus is comin’, gonna take us to the train
Looks like we’ll be blessed with a little more rain,
4 feet high and risin’

How high’s the water, mama?
Five feet high and risin’
How high’s the water, papa?
Five feet high and risin’

Well, the rails are washed out north of town
We gotta head for higher ground
We can’t come back till the water comes down,
Five feet high and risin’

Well, it’s five feet high and risin’

If I can make this thing work like an outboard, I can sail out of this damn high tax state!

FOR SALE:

Swimming pools in the front, back and side yards.

Kenny Leitner shows off a new carbon sequestering system that he intends to market worldwide. "I expect this to be a big hit in the Middle East." Mr. Leitner explains, "I got the idea while attending Church" Al Gore has yet to comment on Mr. Leitner's proposal to allow low income people to sell carbon offsets as a means of subsidizing the rather high installation costs of his new system.

e-moat.com

Eerily reminiscent of Hurricane Katrina, Kenny Leitner of Grafton, IL tends to his lawn after the Illinois River floods and traps him in his home. In a stunning non-development, thousands of members of the press have not descended on his hometown, inquiring about the ineffectual, belated response of the federal government, and Mr. Leitner has not issued calls for the Nation Guard to rescue him, has not asked Greyhound Bus Lines to send a vehicle to lend immediate assistance in his relocation, has not be subject to rape, murder, and violence in his house, has not theorized that Coast Guard purposely blew up the surrounding dikes in order to flood his middle class property and drive him out, and has not claimed that "Bush Hates White People." Stay tuned for no further developments.

WORK.....

A real man would have gone fishing.

An unmarried, real man.

He needed a reason to get out of the house and fishing would be cutting bait.

This oughtta scare away the alligators for sure!

Tina Turner makes a come back with her latest release, "Proud Kenny".

Evacuees keep on rowing. Proud Kenny keep on mowing.

Mowing... Mowing.... Mowing on the river.

When asked if he went to war with Iraq to derail the impeachment vote: “I don’t think any serious person would believe that any President would do such a thing." - President Clinton (Dec 1998).

...fix leak in outdoor faucet.

Noah uses vacuum cleaner to collect two of each kind of lawn bug.

Damn global warming. Hope this lawnmower protects me from the sharks!

I wish that I had duck feet, and I can tell you why...... 

  MSM - shaping all the perceptions you need to believe.