Weekend Captionfest


Original caption:

Former CBS news anchor Dan Rather gestures during an interview on the Fox News Channel in New York, in this June 12, 2007 file photo. Rather filed a $70 million law suit Wednesday against CBS, Viacom and three of his former bosses.

Read comments

Comments Policy

All comments are owned by whoever posted them and are subject to our terms of use. They should not be assumed to represent the views of NewsBusters.

Viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Caption:

"No really! I'm not making it up! Quit looking at me like I'm lying.  I'm serious.  I am no prevaricator.  Stop laughing!"

No, no, no... That's $70

No, no, no...

That's $70 million--with an "M"

Well, for once, the rich white man is in control. --Montgomery Burns

Dan Rather Not

"OOOOOOH! That stick in my a$$ just shifted..."

Pride in Man's heart, grows like lard on a pig.

Honest to God, my Pre-Paid

Honest to God, my Pre-Paid Legal representative told me to "go for it."

Insert Foot Here

Insert Foot Here.

 

<insert witty signature here>

Danny-boy: "And then I heard

Danny-boy: "And then I heard an owl go, 'woot-woot, woot-woot'."

War story

This ain't no s&*t. (That is the way a lie starts.)  

 

A bona fide and certified member of the beer guzzling, NASCAR watching middle class.

....and the fish was this

....and the fish was this big, and its face looked like this.....


When I'm president, privatization is off the table because it's not the answer to anything.
-Hillary Rodham, September 3, 2007 AARP Legislative Conference.

Scooby Doo

And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling bloggers and their stupid dog!

...I mean, he swore

...I mean, the guy swore that....that those documents were authentic and....and I believed him, because you know he....he then printed them out right in front of me and...and...oops!


When I'm president, privatization is off the table because it's not the answer to anything.
-Hillary Rodham, September 3, 2007 AARP Legislative Conference.

BC anecdote

Rather: Bill told me he would hold Monica's head like this while puffing his cigar.

Danism

“This trial will be more exciting than at $2 whore on a Saturday night.”

What is the frequency Kenneth?

 

"I wish Kenneth were here. He could tell us the frequency in this conspiracy I bet".

Shut up and blog! If you claim to be a conservative, please don't disgrace yourself and conservatism by thinking and arguing like a liberal. Go Rudy!

They're not saying

They're not saying "Boo"...they're saying "SUE."

Well, for once, the rich white man is in control. --Montgomery Burns

When Mary and I got into

When Mary and I got into the first production meeting for the National Guard story, I told her that we didn't have enough evidence to run with the story.  We needed to tart it up, dumb it down...so I called Bill Burkett.

 

Danny

Admitting that he does live in a bubble, Dan blows air into the invisible balloon that, when expanded, separates him from reality.

"I takes this much hot air

"I takes this much hot air to fill a five pound bag of crap. Then, all you have to do is light it and ring the doorbell."

It coulda happened...

Look, I know all those eeeeevil right wing bloggers made a big deal out of the document, but no one's been able to prove that a laptop and a laser printer WEREN'T teleported back to the '70's to a National Guard secretary's desk for a day or two...

"It was then Miss Mapes

"It was then Miss Mapes pulled my head out of my ass ... like so. Imagine my surprise!"

It was all their fault! It

It was all their fault! It was Mapes, Redstone, CBS! They forced me to read that story! I had nothing to do with it! Nothing, I tells ya! I've been framed!

 

 

"Oooooooooklahoma, where the

"Oooooooooklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain..."

CBS released pictures of

CBS released pictures of Dan Rather’s on air Proctology exam from a lost episode of “60 Minutes”.  

The only thing you should feel when shooting insurgents is the rifle recoil.

 

Capfest

"Kookage"

Dan It Down

"I'll do anything, and I mean anything, to defeat the president of CBS."

My lawsuit, frivolous... but

My lawsuit, frivolous... but accurate.

next year.......

So I said 'the truth doesn't matter, it's the seriousness of the charge that counts' and the judge wouldn't stop laughing. He sat there in that black robe, looking down on me and wouldn't stop laughing. I felt to humilated, that's why I'm suing him too.

Dan Rather in an interview on Fox news November 2008.

"Lawrence, What Is the Frequency?"

That would be 500 kHz, which for many years was the International Distress Frequency. And Danny was certainly in distress last night.

http://en.wikipedia....

ooh...ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Next I'll show you authentic video of George Bush, Richard Nixon, and Paul Reubens in a homosexual tryst, agreeing that the best thing for this country is a good old fashioned "war for oil" against the brown peoples of the Middle East. It's tartier than a than a three-hootered Madonna in garters!

  Ooh! Ooh! Mr. Peevely! Those Savages!

Ohhhh, what is tonight?

Ohhhh, what is tonight? Jell-O? I love Jell-O..

I love it when the staff lets me play “dress up” and pretend
that I’m a “hard nose journalist”

 

No.. not that jacket with no arms again.. Ahhh come on, I
won’t say Courage again. I promise.

 

Hey, did I tell you about that frog with pockets??

These are the boys of Pointe du Hoc.
Ronald Reagan- 40th Anniversary of D-Day

"Watch me make these

"Watch me make these simple papers authentic incriminating documents:

Ooh mambo doogah doogah boo, ooh mambo doogah boogah boo..." 

  Alright, we'll call it a draw. - The Black Knight

 Sporting a new "butch"

 Sporting a new "butch" look, Helen Thomas demonstrates how she would have performed, had she only been given her Lewinski moment.   "A girl can dream, can't she", said Ms Thomas.

When asked if he went to war with Iraq  to derail the impeachment vote:  “I don’t think any serious person would believe that any President would do such a thing." - President Clinton (Dec 1998).

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang...
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

From Witch Doctor (1958) 

Rather makes as much sense nowadays as these lyrics do to me.

Killing them with kindness isn't working.  Time to get scrappy with the Donkeys.

My head got to be this big

My head got to be this big over at CBS News ... and then it just <popped>!

 So I said.. "Sandy, I can

 So I said.. "Sandy, I can whip you up some incriminating documents faster than a Clinton can corral cash contributions in a communist country..", but noooo.. old Berger's gotta steal documents instead.   It's much safer to fake them than to take them, I always say. 

When asked if he went to war with Iraq  to derail the impeachment vote:  “I don’t think any serious person would believe that any President would do such a thing." - President Clinton (Dec 1998).

captionfest

These are my mini guard document copies. Ooohhh, you want them don't you !

Office Space

"If things go right she's gonna see my o-face"

Bob Porter: Dan, looks like

Bob Porter: Dan, looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

Dan: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.

"I just wave my hands like

"I just wave my hands like so, say the magic word 'Abra-ca-lawsuit!' and POOF!!! All my responsibility for the sleazy, fake story about President Bush DISAPPEARS! It's magic!"

Captionfest

Rather:  And then a little green man came out of his spaceship and handed me the document. My God, how much authenticity do you need?

Rather:  Ya know, I’ve been channeling Lee Harvey Oswald, and he says the documentation was not a hoax.

Rather:  I can remember it as if it were yesterday. I was standing in the window where Oswald had just shot Kennedy and I said to myself, George W. Bush your next.

I am a monkey for the

I am a monkey for the MSM!!!

http://thelazytriathlete.blogspot.com/

the winner of the Curious

the winner of the Curious George contest

that lawsuit is as real as

that lawsuit is as real as this beachball i'm holding

Dan

OOOPPPSS  What a fool.

Animal Sounds

Have I ever shown you my immitation of a chimpanzee?

My favorite song?

Let me sing it...

Oooooooo, oooooooo that smell. Can't you smell that smell.

 



The day that "politician" became a career choice is the day we started losing the Republic. Let's get it back! Fred08.com

Really!

The lie I reported about George Bush was only THIS big!

oh noooooooooooo

oj is still more important than me

lunaticcringeradio

 

and they like to call the president dumb and stooopid looking

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

that's the frequency kenneth

lunaticcringeradio

ooooooooo wwwwweeeeeeee

it's cabbage night in the cafateria in the alzheimer's wing

 

lunaticcringeradio

Rather unhinged

"Sure as bullfrogs sizzle on a 4-lane Texas highway in August, the CBS-Bush conspiracy to destroy me is the biggest Constitutional crisis since the South seceded from the Union."

Dan Rather

"So I had Bill Cinton's Buttcheeks in my hands like this....Then I applied my lips like this.....and this is how I looked when I reported the news for every Democratic President"

-------------------------------------------

When we all agree God doesn't exist, is the day there will be "Peace on Earth"