Cafferty 'Can't Wait' to Peep Through Larry Craig's Stall
Jack Cafferty opened his CNN "Situation Room" shtick today at 4:07 p.m. EDT by asking about Larry Craig:
Which was worse? Making sexual advances toward a police officer or lying to the whole world by saying you're going to resign your Senate seat and then announcing you're not going to resign?
Answer: saying you don't want Craig to resign because you "can't wait" for televised hearings describing all the lurid details of what happened in that stall.
Which is exactly what Cafferty went on to do.
JACK CAFFERTY: Idaho Senator Larry Craig is a disgrace on many levels. Five weeks ago, Larry "Wide-Stance" Craig announced his intention to resign at the end of September after it got out he pleaded guilty in connection with being busted for playing footsie with a cop in that toilet. Pathetic soul that he is, Craig then tried to get his guilty plea to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge overturned. The court laughed in his face, as it should have.
Now Craig says he's staying. Good. Republicans want him to go because he's an embarrassment to their family-values party with an election coming up next year. Democrats want him to stay -- for the same reason: Craig's an embarrassment to the family-values Republican party with an election coming up next year.
I want him to stay too, but not for the same reason. The Senate Ethics Committee is investigating Craig. And if he insists on remaining in the Senate, well, there might be hearings. And those hearings likely might be televised. And I can't wait for that. "Senator, could you show the committee that wide stance you said you assumed in that toilet?" Senator, you said you reached under the stall to pick up a piece of paper. The cop who arrested you didn't say anything about you having a piece of paper in your hand. And Senator, who picks up a piece of paper off the floor in a men's room in an airport? Senator?"
Like I said, I can't wait.
Some might be skeptical of Cafferty's claim that in wanting Craig to remain in the Senate, he's not motivated by a desire to hurt the GOP's electoral prospects. But for present purposes, let's take him at his word. Jack Cafferty "can't wait" to see a man display his wide restroom stance and talk about picking toilet paper off the floor.
If, according to Cafferty, Larry Craig is a "disgrace" and a "pathetic soul" for what he did, then what is Jack Cafferty for salivating at the prospect of learning all the sordid details of what happened in that stall?