Top Ten Things Reince Priebus Should Have Said to Chris Matthews

Conservative blog readers are aware of the Chris Matthews/Reince Priebus contretemps on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, where Matthews shouted down Priebus with accusations of GOPers playing the “race card” (among other things).

An abbreviated video clip is below (the full segment was so awful that you could sense the other guests cringing). Someone has to do it, so I’ll start:

The Top Ten responses

Reince Priebus should have offered to Chris Matthews when he accused the GOP of playing the “race card”:

10. I’m sorry…your name again is…?

9. Security! This fellow says he has a show but nobody here has ever heard of it!

8. I think that tingle has moved up to your brain, Chris.

7. No decaf in the green room again, eh?

6. Curses, foiled again.

5. Yes, Chris, after the vice president caught us trying to re-enslave African-Americans with banking de-regulation, we thought we needed to move on to something subtler. Bwoo-hah-ha!

4. The Village Idiot Convention called. They’re missing one.

3. Are there questions in your diatribe or am I supposed to just listen and nod my head slavishly? Oops, caught me again…playing the “race card.”

2. Three words: anger management therapy.

And…the Number One Response

Reince Priebus should have offered to Chris Matthews when he accused the GOP of playing the “race card”:

1. I assume your bosses, desperate to try to grow your measly audience, have given you this morning guest slot to attract viewers to your little-watched afternoon show.  But I won’t play punching bag to your rhetorical bullying, Mr. Matthews, in their attempt to save your neck. When they finally give up on you, I’ve heard Al Gore is hiring.

Libby Sternberg is a novelist.