Jon Stewart Tells Sen. Jeff Sessions 'Go F*** Yourself'

Jon Stewart fell back to his partisan comfort zone on the Thursday, June 26 edition of The Daily Show. Despite Tuesday’s brief respite into the realm of poking fun at his own party, the Comedy Central host spent the opening monologue of his show blasting Republicans for being “warfare queens.”

Stewart ended his rant by telling Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) to “go f*** yourself.” Classy. [See video below. Click here for MP3 audio]

According to the liberal comedian, Republicans think terrorism is “the only thing Americans would like to be protected from” and block “every domestic bill that comes across their desk.” Stewart cited “crumbling infrastructure,” the VA, global warming, and gun violence as issues that continue to get worse as Republicans ignore them.

Sure, the Republican party is faced with the challenge of reconciling the need for a larger role for the U.S. overseas to stabilize an unstable Middle East while also paring back spending at home.

However, telling Senator Sessions to “go f***” himself and blaming the VA and “crumbling infrastructure” on Republicans without noting the part the Obama administration has played exacerbating problems abroad with incoherent foreign policy delves into the realm of liberal propaganda.

See transcript below:

Comedy Central
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
June 26, 2014
11:30 p.m. Eastern
4 minutes and 50 seconds


JON STEWART: But seriously, they must have... The Republicans must have good reasons for blocking every domestic bill that comes across their desks.

SEN. JEFF SESSIONS (R-Ala): We cannot afford it. We just don't have the money.

SEN. RON JOHNSON (R-Wis.): America’s government is going broke.

SEN. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-S.C.): The government is broke.

SEN. MARCO RUBIO (R-Fla): You can't keep spending more money than you have.

STEWART: We're spending money willy-nilly. And did you know we're saving up to get a more patriotic American Statue of Liberty. Ba-bam! That's what I'm talking about. You know, there are all kinds of reasons why Republicans believe domestic spending is folly.

SEN. JOHN CORNYN (R-Texas): Big government doesn't work.

RUBIO:  Massive government spending, particularly debt spending, is not the solution.

SEN. ROB PORTMAN (R-Ohio): Last thing we want do is add to the debt and deficit.

JOHNSON: The negative consequences of our good intentions.

SEN. MITCH MCCONNELL (R-Ky.): The rampant waste, fraud and abuse.

RUBIO: We need to make sure our programs encourage work, not dependence.

SESSIONS: Our policy cannot be to relegate more and more of our citizens to dependence on the government.

STEWART: By the way, does out of control government spending have the same corrupting effect on non-Americans.

PRES. GEORGE W. BUSH: The goal in Iraq was to help the Iraqi people build a democratic nation that can govern itself.

SEN. ROY BLUNT (R-Missouri) Create real democracy for people who want it.

BUSH: We help Afghans begin to build a new democracy, build their economy and provide basic services and expand health care, as well as open up schools.

REP. LOUIE GOHMERT (R-Texas): And allowing for freedom to spread around the world.

STEWART: So basically, when we give other countries government assistance, they handle it great. But when we get it ourselves, we f*** it all up. Why is it you don’t care about unintended consequences, waste, fraud and abuse and a culture of dependency when it comes to the unlimited checkbook we have for foreign military ventures.

MCCONNELL: Of course the war has been costly, but we've been protected from attack here at home.

STEWART: Bulls***. Putting aside the questionable contention that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have kept us safe here at home, you do know terrorism isn't the only thing Americans would like to be protected from.

NEWS AUDIO: The American society of civil engineers gives America's crumbling infrastructure a D+. The VA says at least 23 people have died waiting for care. 50 million Americans living below the federal poverty line.

CHRIS JANSING: Temperatures could go up by 9 degrees this century, and sea levels could rise an extra 10 to 21 inches.

DIANE SAWYER: 30 Americans die from gun violence in this country every single day.

STEWART: None of it’s terrorism, right? Because then we'd have do something about it. If there is one man who embodied the ethos of the Republican party in this regard, I'd have to say, it's our old friend Jeff Sessions of Alabama. Never met a war appropriations bill he didn't like. Happy to spend the money overseas.

SESSIONS: We made a commitment to our troops, and they're prepared to put their lives at stake for us. I don't think they ought to be the slightest suggestion in any way that we're not going to honor that commitment.

STEWART: Who do I make the check out to, sir? And of course, he's not too worried about how it's going to work out.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: So you have faith that the cost of this war in casualties and the cost of like half a trillion dollars, the risks in terms of getting people in the world not liking what we're doing which is fairly obvious is all worth it because if we do fail, things fail, and we come home or we come home and after we come home, it fails over there, they go back to some military coup. Isn't that a danger that we can't change the course of a country if we're only going to be there a limited amount of time.

SESSIONS: Well, I don't believe that's going to happen.

STEWART: No, he doesn't believe it! What? Unlimited money to go over there. I don't think anything bad's going to happen. Well, how about spending some money on cleaning up the mess you made here at home for the veterans.

SESSIONS: We need to resist the temptation to create more entitlements and more entitlements, which is one of the reasons that we're heading recklessly to a fiscal crisis. But I don't think we should create a blank check, an unlimited entitlement program now.

STEWART: Go f*** yourself. You know what, I'm worried. I'm really worried about the Republicans. Their inability to wean themselves off of military intervention. They have a culture of defendancy, if you will, and I believe it's turned them all into warfare queens. And I think we need to cut them off for their own good. We'll be right back.

Laura Flint
Laura Flint is a 2014 summer intern for the MRC's News Analysis Division.