Joan Rivers on Miss California: ‘God Wants You to Shut Up’

Joan Rivers, Harry Smith, and Maggie Rodriguez, CBS While appearing on Wednesday’s CBS Early Show comedian Joan Rivers shared her thoughts on the Miss California controversy: "It's all so stupid and she's taking it so seriously and so well coached...My advice is oh, relax. God wants you to shut up...You know, you've done enough already." Co-hosts Harry Smith, Maggie Rodriguez, and Julie Chen all laughed in response and shared in mocking Carrie Prejean.

Just prior to Rivers’ comment, Chen asked about the comedian’s recent appearance on NBC’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice’: "Joan, I have a quick question. You know, now that you won 'Celebrity Apprentice,' the public holds you to a certain standard...But for the record, Joan, do semi-nude or nude photos exist of you? I mean, state it right now so, you know, Donald Trump knows if he has to think about firing you or not." Rivers replied: "If Donald had seen the cover of my latest book, I wouldn't have made it. And that was taken during a storm. It blew that way."

At that point, Rivers held up a copy of book, entitled: "Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs: A Woman's Guide to Beauty Through Plastic Surgery." The book’s cover featured a picture of Rivers with photo-shopped Dolly Parton-sized breasts. Rodriguez referred to her earlier interview with Prejean: "So, Miss California won't talk about her implants. Can you talk about yours?" Smith pointed to the book and added: "Maybe if Miss California had implants like that she would've won."

Here is the full transcript of the exchange:

7:30AM TEASE:

JULIE CHEN: Also ahead, the one-and-only Joan Rivers will be here. She's going to talk beauty pageant controversies, reality show show-downs, and of course, a little bit of comedy as well. But first, here's Maggie.

MAGGIE RODRIGUEZ: Thanks Julie, we'll also talk to Joan about this, Miss California will not be forced to step down.

7:38AM TEASE:

RODRIGUEZ: Well, coming up next, we're going to talk to another outspoken blonde who got a passing grade from the Donald. 'Celebrity Apprentice' winner Joan Rivers is here.

7:48AM TEASE:

SMITH: Still to come, the always outrageous Joan Rivers stops by. We'll talk to her in just a bit.

8:00AM SEGMENT:

HARRY SMITH: And with us this morning, Joan Rivers, who has long been the queen of comedy. Now she adds another jewel to her crown, courtesy of Donald Trump, who anointed her the winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice' just a couple of nights ago.

MAGGIE RODRIGUEZ: Congratulations.

JOAN RIVERS: I think that's very irrelevant.

[LAUGHTER]

SMITH: You were listening-

RIVERS: That's irrelevant.

SMITH: You were listening to Carrie Prejean's interview with Maggie earlier this morning?

RIVERS: Yes, I was. Totally irrelevant.

SMITH: Yeah, that's right, that's right.

RODRIGUEZ: What do you make of all this, now this with her?

RIVERS: I -- I am against gay marriage. That two men can get married and I can't get a damn date? I am so pissed off.

[LAUGHTER]

RIVERS: Oh, do what you want.

JULIE CHEN: Well, Joan-

RIVERS: Hello, darling.

CHEN: Joan, I have a quick question. You know, now that you won 'Celebrity Apprentice,' the public holds you to a certain standard-

RIVERS: I won it when I was only 16.

[LAUGHTER]

CHEN: But for the record, Joan, do semi-nude or nude photos exist of you? I mean, state it right now so, you know, Donald Trump knows if he has to think about firing you or not. Do these photos-

RIVERS: If Donald had seen the cover of my latest book, I wouldn't have made it. And that was taken during a storm. It blew that way.

[Rivers holds up her book, entitled: 'Men Are Stupid...And They Like Big Boobs: A Woman's Guide to Beauty Through Plastic Surgery.' The cover of the book is a picture of Rivers with photo-shopped fake breasts.]

[LAUGHTER]

RODRIGUEZ: So, Miss California won't talk about her implants. Can you talk about yours?

RIVERS: These are-

SMITH [POINTING TO BOOK COVER]: Maybe if Miss California had implants like that she would've won.

RIVERS: These were paid for by my gay decorator, that's why.

SMITH: Gay married decorator.

RIVERS: My gay married decorator. It's all so stupid and she's taking it so seriously and so well coached.

RODRIGUEZ: So, yeah, your advice to her is just chill out a little bit?

RIVERS: My advice is oh, relax. God wants you to shut up.

[LAUGHTER]

RIVERS: You know, you've done enough already.

RODRIGUEZ: The thing about you, Joan, is -- she's so low key. You never know where she stands. You're not clear. You've got to get over that.

CHEN: Right, wall flower.

RIVERS: But think, you're not losing a son, you are gaining a person that's going to dress you for the rest of your life, you know what I mean? These women are so lucky.

RODRIGUEZ: That's a great way to look at it.

Kyle Drennen
Kyle Drennen
Kyle Drennen is a News Analyst for MRC