Seth Meyers Wants to Have Rachel Maddow's Baby

You know how Chris Matthews gets a thrill up his leg when Obama's rhetoric soars to unprecedented heights from the television monitors at MSNBC? Seth Meyers undergoes a full-body thrill whenever Rachel Maddow is in the same zip code.

Maddow appeared on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" Tuesday for an interview that quickly degenerated into Meyers essentially revealing he's a lesbian trapped in a man's body and that he and Maddow would make a wonderful couple, they really really would. (Video after the jump)

After establishing they are both huge fans of comic books and the Boston Red Sox (we have so much in common!), Meyers described Maddow as "basically my dream woman," except for "the one major thing," namely, that Maddow is gay. Aside from that, Meyers declared, "I'd be all over you!"

But "you can't be in a relationship with anybody with whom you have the same hair," Maddow responded. (Wha ...?). Meyers played along -- "That's true, we have almost identical" hair, he said, and they moved their heads close together to display their adorably similar 'dos.

During a commercial break, Maddow thought better of her glib observation and deemed it offensive. "I was just feeling, like, you know what? I don't want to offend. I always want to offend a little, but you know, you can have the same haircut as somebody you're in a relationship with. Like, gay couples in particular, lesbian couples, it's OK if your haircuts are the same. I didn't mean to (covers face with hand in mock embarrassment), I'm in so much trouble on the left right now. ... Also bald people, if both people are bald."

Meyers, sensing another opening, appealed to Maddow once more to see them as a possible couple. "But again," he said, pointing back and forth between them, "that doesn't mean that because we have the same haircut, we have a chance?"

"No, no, that's not going to happen," Maddow laughed.

Minutes later, Meyers made one last attempt to win Maddow over. "I think like a lot of people I watched 'House of Cards' over the course of one afternoon," he said, referring to the Netflix series in which Maddow makes a cameo appearance. Is it "weird" to be cast as yourself, he asked.

Yes indeed, Maddow answered. Both revealed they are obsessed fans of the series, to the point of also having watched the British version. (Sigh, something else in common).

"Please just rethink it!" Meyers pleaded, alluding to his earlier pitch and wringing his hands as he leaned toward Maddow. "Please rethink it!"

"No," Maddow answered, firmer this time. "I'll send your wife a note," she added, patting Meyers on the wrist. (Telling her what ...?)

If this "Late Night" gig doesn't work out, Meyers might fall back on work as publicist for Maddow. Assuming that Maddow's girlfriend and Meyers' wife let him anywhere near her.

Jack Coleman
Jack Coleman
Liberated ex-liberal from the People's Republic of Massachusetts