We Have a Winner! Mike Malloy Takes Gold for Most Deranged Chick-fil-A Rant

You just knew he'd be in the running.

Mike Malloy, a left-winger so unhinged he was given the boot by Air America Radio, has uncorked a rant unsettling even for him. (audio clip after page break)

In a trademark two-minute hate, Malloy vented about Chick-fil-A customers turning out by the thousands to show support for the fast-food chain's president, Dan Cathy, an evangelical Christian who opposes gay marriage --

MALLOY: Mike Huckabee, this Rupert Murdoch terror broadcast thug, declared today to be Chick-fil-A appreciation day! When in your lifetime, boys and girls, have you ever shown your appreciation to a company whose president stands for bigotry, hate, contempt, lies, religious nonsense? 'Well, Mike, I didn't say any of that, I just said' -- no, shut up and sit down! Yes, you did say that! Uggghhh!

Huckabee urged Americans to show their appreciation for this bigotry with their wallets! Yes, goddamit, down with the queers! Ain't no queer ever going to get married in America! Buy a chicken sandwich! This is insanity, this is crazy! This is -- this is -- the inmates have burst out of the asylum! Give me a chicken sandwich in the name of Je-sus! Give me a chicken sandwich to stop the queers! Give me a chicken sandwich, uh, to let the world know that I, I think, I'm goin' have a heart attack -- give me a chicken sandwich because queers shouldn't get married! Give me some waffle fries! Give me one of them peach milkshakes!

Amen, by God, amen, ain't no queer ever going to get married as long as I can buy a chicken sandwich! You morons! You thick-headed idiotic morons! Oh my God! Some people lined up in the summer heat, lines all around the building to get inside a store, while others waited in cars as far as the eye could see for a chance to place their order at the drive-through window. Hi, I'm a lard ass! And I'm here to stop the queers! Give me two chicken sandwiches! I'm going to eat here every day 'til either I die or we have a Defense of Marriage Act, goddammit, marriage is under assault here! Give me a chicken sandwich, give me another one! Dumb-assery at its peak! People lined up to buy chicken sandwiches! Ughh!

Malloy once again epitomizing broad left-wing toleration for an exceedingly narrow diversity of views.

(h/t, Brian Maloney at Radio Equalizer)

Jack Coleman
Jack Coleman
Ex-liberal from People's Republic of Massachusetts