G.I. Joe's Bennetton Moment

Photo of Greg Gutfeld.
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So the latest GI Joe flick is creating controversy, because the character is no longer portrayed as a typical American soldier. Instead he’s part of some elite murky force of international fighters - a Benetton ad with rocket launchers. On MSNBC, Donny Deutsch tried to take John J. Miller to task over his objections to the change – pointing out that the shift from an iconic American character to a mushy international delight is a “business” decision. For the movie to make money internationally, Donny thinks the character has to become part of global task force of community organizers. To this, I say, “Fiddle faddle,” which is short for “Silly stupid fiddle faddle.”

I wrote about this two years ago, just when Hasbro and Paramount execs decided to give GI Joe a makeover. Back then they felt the world would be too pissed at us for getting rid of Saddam Hussein to go see a movie about an American hero. As it turns out, they were wrong - the backlash over Saddam’s death had less impact than Norman Fell’s.

But for a moment, let’s attempt to use Donny’s logic on other flicks.

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“Sex and the City,” my favorite film - made a pile of money around the world, and it was about five American chicks exercising their rights to both unfettered capitalism and sex. According to Deutsch, it would have been better to make them all multi-racial, transgendered dolphins - and stationed them in Brussels in a cool undersea condo shaped like Earth. Granted, that does sound awesome – but it probably would have been less successful than the original concept (which made me cry).

Fact is, our mainstream media feels awkward about anything “American,” and finds the idea of an international force (made up of everybody!) stamping out evil far more palatable than America running the show. But hey, that fantasy doesn’t exist - and if it ever did, Americans would have to run it.

The ugly truth: the world loves America more than MSNBC talking heads are willing to admit. And they like our heroes even more: our Rambos, John McClanes, Supermans, Dirty Harrys and Charlotte Yorks. We make great heroes, because our country is full of them.

Unlike MSNBC.

They’re just full of it.

Originally posted on August 5, 2009, at the Daily Gut and Big Hollywood.


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A Greg Gutfeld post?

A Greg Gutfeld post? Eeek! Is this a first? Like omigod, I swear I'm never going to wash my screen!

By the way, why in the hell did they bother referencing GI Joe, if the US military doesn't sell tickets anymore? Typical Donny - pink, ecru, and sky blue.

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

Chris/ Cobra...

Did you remember the G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier "USS Flag" (came out during the 80's) it was meant to hold 3-5 G.I. Joe Skystrikers (F-14 Tomcats) that toy (if you want to call it that) was massive. I've lusted after that thing knowing full well I could never afford it (heck even if we did were would we put it, it was freaking huge). My brother and myself mocked one up out of cardboard but sad to say the magic just wasn't there.

I had the USS Flag.  It was

I had the USS Flag.  It was awesome.  But I don't think anyone ever had 5 Skystrikers to land on it, least of all one Skystriker with the landing gear intact.  

Learning is half the battle. 

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." Ronald Reagan

I had a zillion different

I had a zillion different outfits, from the scuba gear to the beret. I also had the GI Joe with the bionic helicopter arm and Morse code-flashing eyeball!

You surprise me Balboa!

You surprise me Balboa! Somehow I had you figured owning a Cyrus Vance Ambassadorial Inaction Figure - complete with diplomatic passport and briefcase - plus a deluxe State Department Gulfstream Jet for "shuttle diplomacy". But a GI Joe Action Figure? Notice how we never said doll? This is why I say there's hope for you yet... :)

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

Lol. I'm glad to surprise. I

Lol. I'm glad to surprise. I had a ton of Star Wars stuff, too, as well as Micronauts, and a Mattel Spock, Human Torch, Falcon, and Captain America.

Just a hunch.

Balboa I'll wager you still have all those toys.

Okie

Nah, I don't know where it all went. I'm sure my mom threw it all out at some point.

I used to play with G.I Joe as a child.

I used to play with G.I. Joe as a child and I remember that G.I Joe was always one guy (Kung Fu Grip, anyone?).  Decades later they added an entire squad, but at least they resembled the actual military.  Now they resemble something out of Star Wars crossed with Kill Bill.  What the heck happened to good old fashioned G.I Joe?

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus.
The US Supreme Court

Cobra, Since my family

Cobra,

Since my family couldn't afford to get me more than one GI Joe and jeep, I had to match him up against all my little green plastic army men and tanks (like 500 pieces for a buck ninety-five). It looked kind of ridiculous... 

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

An Army of One?

So YOU'RE the person who coined the slogan: An Army of One!

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus.
The US Supreme Court

Ha! LOL. Yeah, that was me

Ha! LOL. Yeah, that was me - and Joe literally crushed those little plastic Nazis - well, at least, those plastic US army men who had to stand in for Nazis... 

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

I loved those little guys!

I loved those little guys.  I could destroy a lot of them when I played with them and they were so cheap, my parents didn't care! That is until someone stepped on them in the dark with bare feet, anyways.  Heh.

Oh, my cat loved them too, as a chew toy! G.I. Joe?  Not so much as I guess he didn't taste very good, especially when I painted "tatoos" on him.

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus.
The US Supreme Court

I used to get in trouble

I used to get in trouble when I would "re-landscape" my mom's gardens into mountains, swamps, rivers, etc. for battlefields. I think I made "A Bridge Too Far"...

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

But, Mom! It's a war!

LOL, good to see I'm not the only one!

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus.
The US Supreme Court

I ripped up my Dad's grass

I ripped up my Dad's grass to make an airfield.  He had been working so hard to get grass to grow under a tree.  There is still no grass 15 years later.

Gosh guys, I'm jealous

Barbie was a bore, truly.

Had to make do with plastic horses....GI Joe sounds alot more fun.

I hope he fails, too.

 

 

But you had a pink corvette!

But you had a pink corvette!

Not sure if you're aware, but there's this gal in LA who looks like Barbie, drives a pink corvette, and puts billboards up all over town promoting herself.  Not sure what Angelyne is promoting exactly - maybe just her existence as a real, live Barbie doll.

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." Ronald Reagan

That's just sick, Kennedy

I think I've heard of a Marilyn Monroe plastic surgery addict, too.

No pink corvette for me.  LOL, my sister was even more of a tomboy than I was...my grandmother took her to a very exclusive store to buy a beautiful girly girl doll....my sister picked out a lifesized chimpanzee that had rubber hands and face that were totally realistic.  It was positively gross.  My grandmother was crestfallen, but she bought the stupid chimp....Pierre was around for years and years, too.

I hope he fails, too.

 

 

Ewwwww... It wasn't a

Ewwwww... It wasn't a monchichi, was it?

http://rawcomedy.se/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/monchichi.jpg 

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." Ronald Reagan

Those little green guys

Those little green guys stood their ground and died well when hit with a flamethrower.

I got the Mercury G.I. Joe

I got the Mercury G.I. Joe with space capsule for Christmas 1970. Yes, I'm old. :-)

“There are no easy answers' but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right.” - Ronald Reagan (1964 Republican Convention)

BTW, Greg.

BTW, Greg, love your show, especially TV's Andy Levy!  Keep up the good work.

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus.
The US Supreme Court

I love Levvy too...he's a

I love Levvy too...he's a kick in the butt.

Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart

Gutfeld is here...can't

Gutfeld is here...can't believe it...I got a kick out of his show last night...Mike Baker or is it Bakker is one of my favs. as well as Pinch...hehehee

Couldn't agree more...msnbc is full it and then some....and regarding Donny he's unwatchable.

I never will again after I saw him go after Beck the other day.

Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart

bt,How in the heck do

bt,

How in the heck do you stay up that late - even in our time zone? I'm mad at Fox and their sporadic scheduling of Red Eye at 10:00 PM MST on the weekends. One week he's on and the next week, it's Geraldo's Still At Large and Hokeybee

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

Chris... I wished it was

Chris...

I wished it was on at an earlier time too...I only catch it once in awhile, it's improved over time in my opinion...and the other guy that I was talking about when I was referring to the NYTs Pinch is Bill Schultz, I think that's his correct name, if not, others will correct it...he's also a riot, I liked it when Greg's mom was on at the end too.

Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart

I used to watch it when I

I used to watch it when I lived on the east coast. Then, I think they bumped it one hour even later. It has gotten better with time. Like I said, i watch it on Saturdays and Sundays when they show it and you're right it has gotten better and better. The guests are much better and the conversation has become consistently witty. Andy Levy is my second favorite and I look forward to the half time report and the "cats" jokes. 

The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.

Sex and the City ????

This was your favorite movie?

Turn in your man card

Can it be agreed then that

Can it be agreed then that this movie version is not based on the historic GI Joe of the 50s and 60s that the old timers are talking about, but on the 80s toy line and subsequent cartoon series?  If you look at the characters (Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Cobra, Destro, Scarlett, Hawk...), we're really looking at a movie that is nothing more than the next in a long series of cartoons brought to the big screen, which will ultimately disappoint because, well, they all have so far.  The characters and storylines that this movie is based off of are not those of historic wars, but of an evil domestic terrorist organization with a half-human half snake bad guy dressed in bright colors.  The original GI Joe is gone.  We're talking cartoons now.

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." Ronald Reagan

You're right ILTK. GI Joe

You're right ILTK. GI Joe morphed into a name for a gang of characters in the '80s / '90s with the cartoon and the release of the new, shorter dolls. I don't think too many people in the all important demos remember the original 12-inch doll with the kung fu grip (Still have mine!...somewhere!).

This movie really doesn't look interesting at all, btw. 

I guess everything has to

I guess everything has to change eventually.  I pin the success and transformation of GI Joe on the end of the Star Wars Trilogy in '83.  The Star Wars action figures were huge to any kid who grew up in that era, and once the movies ended, the toys stopped being produced.  For a kid who was into action figures, GI Joe picked up where Star Wars left off. 

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." Ronald Reagan

I'm sure they shrank them

I'm sure they shrank them based on the success of the smaller Star Wars figures, and probably the lower production cost, too.

They were much cooler than

They were much cooler than the SW figures - their elbows and knees bent! 

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." Ronald Reagan

G.I. Joe

I loved G.I. Joe as much as any other boy back in the day (1980s), but I got a question...

Who was their quartermaster? 

:-)

I intend to pass on the movie. 

"CONSUMED DEMOCRACY RETURNS A SOCIALIST REGIME" - Slayer, "Fictional Reality", from Divine Intervention (1994)

Uns

Who was their quartermaster?

 

Is logistitics actually important?  /Sarcasm Off

I guess then...

I guess then that Hollywood should stop making all those movies like "W." then or all the ones bashing our troops in Iraq, because those are just American flicks and don't have worldwide interest.

Excellent Point

cjbreisch - You cut the heart out of Deutch's argument. Good job.

Does this new version

Does this new version come with a blue helmet? Just reassigned from their mission in Rwanda?

tired of liberal

tired of liberal lies

LOL-blue helmet-Hee Hee!!! I showed my 11 year old kid the post and boy is he mad GI Joe characters are not all Americans.  What are they French/Russians he asked in disgust. The movie preview looked great he told me but its now off his summer viewing list. Good job Hollywood the only American soldiers that can be depicted on the big screne are the one "airating villages and terrorizing women and children in the dead of night" in the fertile imagination of John Kerry and the lefty trolls inhabiting California.

Yes, and they also rape 8

Yes, and they also rape 8 year old girls too!

Greg Gutfeld: "the backlash over Saddam’s death had less impact

than Norman Fell’s."

I miss really good character actors like Norman Fell. He had a long and illustrious career.

Here is some personal quotes from the IMDB website:

  • "This hook nose and crab meister attitude has gotten me every job I've ever had. And more divorces than I care to remember."

  • I've been in Hollywood for over 40 years. I've worked on over 100 shows and movies. But I'm famous for being a homophobic, perverted, leering, dirty old man who peeps on young girls and verbally abuses his wife. When I die, they're going to say "Mr. Roper died." They won't even use my real name.

  • When I tell people the movies I did, they don't believe me. I tell them I did Oceans 11, they laugh at me. I tell them I did Bullitt, they call me a liar. By the time I get around to telling them I was in The Graduate, they're on the phone calling the nut house.

  • Hollywood sucks. I've got the bruises to prove it.

  • GI Joe is supposed to be an

    GI Joe is supposed to be an all american commando team.  It was a cartoon brought to children during Ronald Reagan's presidency.  America rocked, heck yeah!  It was about america playing world police against hippies and a pastiche of all of americas enemies.  It was poltically incorrect.  Cobra dressed in BLUE uniforms with a communist design .  Cobra was composed of hedonistic europeans, commies, hair band rock musicians, bikers, etc.  Cobra members yelled Cobralalala like islamic terrorists.  

    The new GI Joe seems to changed american commandos working for US interests to american commandos working under the UN. 

    Anyhow, there is nothing bad about a fictional international commando force, look at Rainbow Six.  Rainbox Six and the video games it spawned are pretty badass.   But GI Joe has never been about a collection of former euro special forces and americans assembled under the NATO banner to combat common enemies after the cold war.   

     

    Anyhow, GI Joe existed to balance out the marxist cartoon known as the Smurfs.  GI Joe, the cartoon for conservative kids.  Smurfs, for liberal kids. 

    That's funny!

    "It was a cartoon brought to children during Ronald Reagan's presidency."

    Now that's funny!  I got my first G.I. Joe toy in the mid 60's, during the Johnson Presidency.

    The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
    The US Constitution

    Unless you're a fetus.
    The US Supreme Court

    BTW, Omar

    G.I. Joe was created in 1963 by Stan Wilson and was inspired from a TV show called The Lieutenant.

    The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
    The US Constitution

    Unless you're a fetus.
    The US Supreme Court

    Very true, except for one

    Very true, except for one thing-the ones that shouted that warcry were the punk rocker dudes, and if I remember correctly those guys weren't exactly affiliated with COBRA, they were just working for them as mercs.

     The problem, though, with them being an international force is even back in the 1980s when the cartoon came out (yes, the toys had been around long before that) it was still essentially the best of the best America had to offer protecting the world from evil (politically incorrect or no).  By changing it to an international force (that's no longer just the best of the best, now they have ZOMGWICKEDKEWL suits! :OOOO) it seems like they're basically pretending that the history of the cartoon and the toys never happened.

     Least that's how I see it.  It's too early to form coherent thoughts right now.

    Why choose the lesser of two evils?

    I think this is just payback

    I think this is just payback for the days when movies were made on the assumption that Americans would only root for ourselves.  Anyone remember U-571?  They took the story of a brave British sub crew and turned it into an American crew.  Presumably they were worried that we weren't capable of cheering for brave people if they had accents.  Stupid decision, bad movie!

    Aren't we still "rooting" for ourselves?

    Aren't we still "rooting" for ourselves in this movie?  After all G.I. Joe, the hero, is an American.

    The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
    The US Constitution

    Unless you're a fetus.
    The US Supreme Court

    "British sub crew and turned

    "British sub crew and turned it into an American crew." Maybe they thought sub-titles would be a distraction.

    "mainstream media feels awkward about anything "

    The world population is more "American" than MSNBC.   The founding principles of Americas founders have made huge strides in being adopted across vast streaches of the earth.  

    MSNBC is fighting a rear gaurd action for an old reliegion that the public good is served by central leadership.