NBC’s ‘Blacklist’ Makes War of an Ancient Christian Sect, ‘Monster vs. Monster’

January 30th, 2016 12:21 AM

Killing in the name of religion was the theme of Thursday night’s The Blacklist, titled ‘The Vehm.’ The young men of a religion, bent on the destruction of those it viewed to be sinners, believe they kill in the name of their God, and are willing to die in the process if need be.

It was a show about the religion of…well…Christianity of course. What other religion could possibly fit that description? Here’s a taste of how the fanatical foot soldiers of “The Vehm” (I’ll explain later) go about their business:

Man: Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It's been a week since my last confession. Since that time, I have killed two men.

Priest: Well done, my son, for you are the tip of his spear. Through your hands, his judgment is witnessed. Let us pray.

This is a far cry from the three ‘Hail Marys’ and three ‘Our Fathers’ that Father O’Sulllivan used to command of me back in the day. After going in to confess the sin of murder, he gets handed a dossier of someone else the priest wants killed.

Mix messages much?

In any event, the Vehm turns out to be a Germanic cult that meted out judgment for heresy and witchcraft in the 15th Century. Now, they’re a group that kills pedophiles. Which sounds kind of noble and endearing until you find out that the Vehm is actually made up of former pedophiles who have gone to…shall we say…unusual lengths to ensure they don’t molest again:

Doctor: I admit, three fully shaved dudes is kind of weird. It's not something you see every day, but then... Well, then there's something that you almost...never see.

Navabi: You've never seen a eunuch?

Doctor: W-well, no. I... I've seen a eunuch before. In fact, I've seen more eunuchs than I care to admit.

Navabi: Are they all eunuchs?

Doctor: Sliced and diced. But the beauty part -- and I use that term advisedly, of course -- is that it's self-inflicted.

Navabi: He did this to himself?

Doctor: They all did. Ouch.

Navabi: Yeah?

Ressler: Prints came back. The guy's name is Harlan Holt. He served seven years at Cumberland for, uh -- get this -- sexual assault of a minor.

Navabi: So he's a pedophile.

Ressler: Who got early release by agreeing to castration to mitigate his deviant desires.

Navabi: The Vehm at the morgue are castrated as well.

Ressler: So the Vehm are pedophiles, and their victims are pedophiles.

Navabi: It's monsters hunting monsters.

So, just when you thought The Blacklist writers were about to right the wrongs that Hollywood has inflicted upon the church with their dozens and dozens of awful rape and molestation jokes, by showing a bunch of devout followers taking revenge on heinous monsters, no, not so fast. The Christian religious vigilantes in question are in fact themselves pedophiles.

We just can’t have nice things, apparently.