Brent Bozell Announces Top 10 Recommendations to Replace Katie Couric
The votes are in and CBS, do we have a treat for you.
We received nearly 1,800 responses from our Facebook fans proposing who you should hire to replace Katie Couric. Ten people were recommended most frequently, listed below the page break.
Other entertaining suggestions include:
- “Casper the Ghost … nobody saw Katie anyhow.”
- “Trump’s hairpiece would make a better journalist than Katie.”
- “Well if you are talking about a replacement on the same level as Couric, a microwave should do just fine.”
- “The Teleprompter of the United States of America (TOTUS). Since CBS pretty much just repeats what is read off the Teleprompter, I say make it a news anchor.”
- “The Geico Cave Man … it’s so easy, a cave man could do it.”
- “A pet rock … it’s twice as intelligent, more entertaining, and you don’t’ have to pay it.”
- “It doesn’t matter cause if you want true reporting, you will be watching Fox News anyways.”
Here's the Top 10 List to Replace Katie Couric on CBS Evening News
1. Sarah Palin
2. Glenn Beck
3. Megyn Kelly
4. Mark Levin
5. Andrew Breitbart
6. Brit Hume
7. Chris Wallace
8. Sean Hannity
9. Rush Limbaugh
10. Ann Coulter
- Brent Bozell's blog
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Comments
How about????
Submitted by adamsmith on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 3:37pm.
They ought to bring in Olbermann. This way he's at least on a channel that people watch, and the non political among us can see Progressive insanity at its best.....
Olbermann, are you serious?
Submitted by ForeverOnTheRight on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 3:51pm.
Olbermann, are you serious? That would be like tossing an anchor to a drowning man. CBS already has it's rating problems.
Maybe that's Adam's ulterior
Submitted by Ken Shepherd on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 3:57pm.
Maybe that's Adam's ulterior motive?
Shhhh...
Submitted by johnsonl on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:53am.
...the liberals might hear us.
all kidding aside
Submitted by ripper58 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 3:40pm.
THE BEST ON THE LIST IS Chris Wallace
Couric's new assignment
Submitted by tegajay on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 3:59pm.
I heard Couric is going to start a new Gaggle comic for the NY Times
Seriously?
Submitted by The Irishman on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:00pm.
Chris Wallace is the only candidate with the experience and professionalism to take on the role.
How could Sarah Palin do a report on Obama without comparing herself to him? It would be a huge distraction.
Glenn Beck would cry all the time. Again, a distraction.
Breitbart, Hannity, Limbaugh, Coulter, oh what can I even say?
Good list, but...
Submitted by habbyguy on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:01pm.
... all of the people on the list are way past taking a job as a talking head, reading off the telepompter into a camera.
... other than those who might run for POTUS, of course.
EXCELLENT POINT
Submitted by Lord-come-soon-... on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:36pm.
I mean, really, what's the big deal? I have never understood what talent it would take to be Katie, or Brian or any of the other doofuses. Can you read? Can you look at a teleprompter? Can you get a smug look of self-adoration on your face? Can you shill Obama? I mean it! Jerry Mahoney, where have you gone?
What about bringing back Max Headroom?
Submitted by Lipton on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:03pm.
Showing my age here, but I think it would be a change for the better.
I wrote that somewhere yesterday
Submitted by Dbak61 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:06pm.
and repeated it before seeing your post. Great minds...lol.
@lipton
Submitted by Samshile on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:35am.
He is too busy as POTUS
I miss Max...
Submitted by johnsonl on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 9:54am.
...and the MTV that actually played music videos.
I'm insulted...
Submitted by KyWriter on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:04pm.
...that my nominee, Ted Baxter, didn't make the list. So what if he is only a fictional character? Perky Katie at best was only a fictional journalist.
Final Ted Baxter quote: An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of cure.
Brit Hume
Submitted by rwnewsnut on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:04pm.
I vote for Brit Hume. Chris Wallace would be second choice.
A real taliking head...
Submitted by Dbak61 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:05pm.
Max Headroom
@Dbak
Submitted by Samshile on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 5:35am.
He is too busy as POTUS
perhaps
Submitted by GW on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:06pm.
Obama will be looking for a new job come January 2013.
Obama can't ad lib
Submitted by nkviking75 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:43pm.
He's good with a teleprompter, but he doesn't ad lib well. He'd be terrible in a breaking news situation.
“Always love your country — but never trust your government!" -- Bob Novak (1931-2009)
When you put the clowns in charge, don't be surprised when a circus breaks out.
"Ummmmm, errrrr, ahhhhh,
Submitted by HockeyKid on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:41pm.
This errrrrrr, ummmmm, uhhhh, just uh uh uh uh IN..."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but liberal's to the bone." - me
Palin would be a great choice!
Submitted by CobraMan on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:08pm.
Palin would be a great choice! CBS's ratings couldn't help but improve! Just the number of The Irishman types, like witnessed above, hanging on her every word, broadcast after broadcast, just to find the proverbial "gotcha!" moment, would, no doubt, triple their viewership overnight.
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. The US Constitution
Unless you're a fetus. The US Supreme Court
Or Anwar al-Awlaki.
What should really happen to CBS News
Submitted by ArchConservative on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:15pm.
They should put on reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond". They would get better ratings, more money from advertisers, and they can wipe out most of the money they are wasting on evening news that no one under 104 years of age watches or cares about. The evening news hours are irrelevant and unnecessary and thank goodness they are dying a slow death.
And by the way, whoever is in charge of posting photos on NewsBusters, please PLEASE PLEASE do not put any more hideous photos of Couric on the site again. It's painful to look at.
You support the troops by supporting the mission! If you don't support the mission, have the guts to say you don't support the troops.
Obama: Not my President. Ever.
I nominate
Submitted by Ashrak on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:17pm.
Brent Bozell.
Just a talking head reading from a teleprompter.
Submitted by upcountrywater on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:37pm.
Must gut out the entire "newsroom" and start fresh. Ain't going to happen.
After all its cBS....
You Didn't Build That.
sorry. I didn't see your post from yesterday.
Submitted by Lipton on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:46pm.
I do think Max would generate more ratings than the next leftist clone in line.
NO! NO! NO! .....HERE'S THE TOP TOP TEN.......
Submitted by Herbster on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 4:52pm.
This matter has to be looked at as a ratings question, a business decision based on the the replacement's ability to draw, and increase the viewership for CBS Evening News. Couric's ratings slid south pretty much from her inception as the News Anchor. With building up and continually improving the ratings, here are the TRUE top ten. Any of these folks are guaranteed to have better numbers than Couric.
1. Foghorn Leghorn....deep voice and folksy manner.
2. Any of the hookers hired by Client #9...news analysis and cleavage.
3. Teller (Of Penn & Teller)......Shhhhh!
4. Lindsay Lohan.........Announcer: "And now the news with Lindsay Lohan, direct from Ralph's Rehab in Los Angeles......"
5. Paul Krugman.....Announcer: "And now the news with Paul Krugman, direct from the Hospital for the Economically Insane......"
6. A shared newscast.....Janet (Jack) Napolitano and Rosie O'Donnell. The perfect teaming of.....well, the perfect teaming.
7. Barney Frank........they'd have to somehow cover his drool cup....and would need subtitles in English.
8. Maya Angelou (The world's worst poet)......."and now the news, to chase the bluies, here's the news, for all of youse."
9. Dog the Bounty Hunter.......Best dresset newsman!
10. Anita Dunn.........................."The news according to Karl Marx, my hero." Oops. We already had that with Katie. Sorry. cancel this choice.
10. Reverend Wright. He needs a new gig. He'd be perfect!....Hates the country, is a racist (Reverse?) lives in a multi million dollar house in a gated community. (Don't all retired pastors live like that?) Wow. If only the suits at CBS see this entry. After all, these geniuses picked Katie....why not "The Rev?" They're on a roll now. If the Rev. doesn't work out, they could get an interview tape from Quaddafi.....he'll need a new gig soon......and he wears such cool thtreads......and the HATS! Wow, A winner for the Network, or should we say, Nutwork?
9.
Maya Angelou
Submitted by Lord-come-soon-... on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 5:38pm.
Thanks for affirming something I have thought for a long, long time. She is the most overrated Poet in literary history. Have you read her "poetry"? It's hilariously bad. My daughter had to sit through a reading of Angelou poetry at school not long ago and came home with the exact same opinion. Are we supposed to like her because Obama likes her? Yuck.
truth in poetry
Submitted by OuttaMyWay on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 5:58pm.
i can sum it up:
Roses are red
violets are blue
i love communism
and you WILL too.
Angelou's poetry is 'exceptional' for the same reason---
Submitted by matthewdean on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 6:14pm.
that Michelle's arms are 'toned' and she is touted as a fashion "maven".
For the same reason that the idiot voicing concerns over the island of Guam tipping over was not run out of town on a rail for being a pluperfect fool and laughingstock.
Only complimentary statements must be allowed in relation to minorities.
Criticism by some, you see, may well be seen as racism by others.
Can't have that.
MD
My Top 10 List:
Submitted by djwolf12 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 6:04pm.
10) Cancel the show.
9) Cancel the show.
8) Cancel the show.
7) Cancel the show.
6) Cancel the show.
5) Cancel the show.
4) Cancel the show.
3) Cancel the show.
2) Bring back Dan Rather so he can say "Show me the Bunny" one more time.
1) Who gives a sh*t, CBS isn't worth the toilet paper I wipe my a** with.
Now Now Now
Submitted by The Irishman on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 6:26pm.
How do you really feel?
They should hire Fox News to produce the CBS newscast.
Submitted by IdahoJim on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 6:33pm.
It would be fun to see a liberal newsreader choke and turn purple whilst reading the teleprompter.
New drinking games would be created (Everyone drinks when they see 'em crying). People would flock to the newscast in droves to see how long it takes the presenter to gag and run off the set.
IdahoJim
http://idahoandy.net
Tradition
Submitted by Jerry Mack on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 7:02pm.
I say go with tradition.Pauly Shore or Gotfried?. The regular viewers would go into shock and drive up medical cost 300% if any of Brents suggestions got the job.
There can be only one
Submitted by ckc1227 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 7:21pm.
Helen Thomas should get the job.
MAYA ANGELOU, WORLD'S WORST POET.......
Submitted by Herbster on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 7:25pm.
Glad to see I'm not the only one that finds this woman talentless and the world's worst poet. Enough of the literary - let's get back to replacing Kaite the Kupcake....I have THE man to do the job........
Sorry, Bill O'Reilly, we are stealing JESSE WATTERS to be "The man" at CBS News to pull the ratings up from somewhere below re-runs of Mr. Ed. (The horse, not Schultz.)
Make it the people seat
Submitted by Tjexcite on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 8:05pm.
With the money that they paid Couric they could employ 100 people at real people wages and have a different person do it 3 days yet get a years salary for those 3 days of work.
Wallace and Kelly are the
Submitted by balboa on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 9:12pm.
Wallace and Kelly are the only rationale choices on that list as far as I can see. Palin? No. Coulter? Limbaugh? Cmon.
I agree--Wallace or Kelly.
Submitted by papadon on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:23am.
I agree--Wallace or Kelly. ---Rush?--As he always says about any suggestion of another job: "I can't afford the cut in pay!"
Say goodbye
Submitted by Unsane on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 9:39pm.
If the networks are dumping other dinosaurs of a bygone age (soap operas) they can surely dispense with others (the evening news broadcast).
"CONSUMED DEMOCRACY RETURNS A SOCIALIST REGIME" - Slayer, "Fictional Reality", from Divine Intervention (1994)
Unsane, My thoughts exactly.
Submitted by Chris Norman on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 11:57pm.
Unsane,
My thoughts exactly. They have downgraded their coverage so much (sometimes not even cutting into their prime time line up for a presidential speech - at least when Bush was president - and quickly cutting back to their crappy sitcoms and derivative dramas) they don't even seem to care about their news divisions any longer - except for propaganda for the Democrats. They might as well go all the way and get rid of their dino-evening news. The only people who watch it now are probably just watching it out of force of old habits. They may just as well admit their viewership is now more interested in who wins a singing or dancing competition than watching some old geezer wheeze out talking points for the Democrats. They should lose their Jurassic Sunday morning Republican bash-fests as well...
Walter Williams does a
Submitted by ant on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 11:17pm.
Walter Williams does a helluva job subbing for Rush sometimes. I think he'd be perfect and it would drive the libs nuts not being able to call him a racist.
Walter Williams or Thomas
Submitted by MikeB on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 12:38am.
Walter Williams or Thomas Sewell either one. We could get the straight skinny on economic matters, and the "He's an Uncle Tom" or "House N_____" or "not a real Black" from the left would finally open the eyes of the blacks who are not totally under the mind control of the Commucrat Party. It is worth a shot, ant. Good idea.
Rush couldn't afford the pay
Submitted by Saint Zero on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 11:25pm.
Rush couldn't afford the pay cut. He's said so on occasion.
Come on...
Submitted by Rukus on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 1:36am.
This is easy! Vince "You're gonna love my nuts!" Shlomi.
Kelly, Hume, and Wallace...
Submitted by Jer on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 3:20am.
are the only viable recommendations on the list. And I would be perfectly content--even elated--with any one of the three. Quite frankly, if CBS execs were smart they would choose one of those or someone equally credible with conservatives. Unfortunately, that "smart" qualifier presents a formidable and most likely insurmountable obstacle.
Jer
I have a big yellow dog and
Submitted by John21 on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 8:02am.
I have a big yellow dog and if you use your imagination it sound like he is speaking words. That way the liberals on CBS could hear what they want to and not insult everyone elses intelligents, by the way Cylde will work a whole lot cheaper than KatiDid.
The networks are dead.
Submitted by johnsonl on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 10:01am.
They no longer entertain nor report the news. They push a liberal, socialist agenda that trashes families, promotes bad behavior and homosexuality. I haven't watched network TV in 25 years.
Just put a camera
Submitted by sherlock1 on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 11:46am.
Just hook CBS News up to the DNC Talking Points RSS feed, with text-to-speech software, and let it run. Back it up with a loop slideshow of great Democrats like Nancy, Harry, Obama, John Kerry, John Edwards, George Wallace, Jefferson Davis...
The people who get their news from Katy certainly would not see any dimunition of quality.
if Brit were back on in the Anchor chair I would watch
Submitted by Tidy Bowl Man on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 1:20pm.
Brit was easy to watch and listen to. Style and experience!
John Stossel would be good. Juan Williams would be good too
Submitted by VanPastorMan on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 4:50pm.
even though I disagree with him a lot as a commentator. Yet Williams is a likable guy. Hannity considers him a friend even though he wants to hit him in the mouth sometimes.
Brent Bozell is a delusional
Submitted by Giygas on Sat, 04/30/2011 - 4:27pm.
Brent Bozell is a delusional hypocrite, always defending and promoting drool monkeys like Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck while demonizing the better educated journalists.
Bozell incessantly claims that the mainstream media slanders conservatives, but he will always defend despicable pigs like Rush Limbaugh. Anyone who takes Limbaugh seriously needs to be commited to an asylum.
Bozell's columns are comical and read I them purely for entertainment. This guy is weirdly disconnected from reality.
Wow it's Saturday and Gg got acess to a keyboard.
Submitted by upcountrywater on Sat, 04/30/2011 - 4:38pm.
Type away pal,
Oh got any links to back that up?
ROTFLMAO...
You Didn't Build That.
upcountry*
Submitted by cajun2 on Sat, 04/30/2011 - 5:32pm.
If this lib troll posts any links, we will be first to witness an historical event at NB
Some one finally placed a sign at his favorite hang out.
Submitted by upcountrywater on Sat, 04/30/2011 - 6:52pm.
So now we get to baby sit the trolll
You Didn't Build That.
"The better educated
Submitted by UpNorth on Sat, 04/30/2011 - 7:04pm.
journolists"?
Ummm, G, would that be Brian Williams, Katie Couric, or Diane Sawyer? That would be a lush, a bust and douChe, right?
If you seek a delusional hypocrite, just go look in the mirror. OH, that's right, mommy didn't put one up down in the basement, did she?
You don't believe anyone
Submitted by ant on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 12:40pm.
You don't believe anyone could take Bozell or Limbaugh seriously? Have you observed the words and actions of your affirmative-action messiah at all? Or are his thighs usually clasped over your ears?