Editor’s note: the video after the jump may offend some people.
Dear Miley Cyrus: We get it already. You’re not a kid anymore. That Teddy Bear-to-porn maven motif at the 2013 MTV VMAs was so unsubtle even the kind of people who like the VMAs couldn’t miss it. Ditto the latex bikini and relentless “twerking.” Besides, you’re belaboring the point. It’s been abundantly clear for some time you killed Hannah Montana and you’re pole-dancing on her grave.
But maybe you could dial back the porn factor just a touch? Sure, masturbating yourself and Robin Thicke with a foam #1 finger shocked Will Smith & co. in the immediacy of the moment.